We all struggle with trying to stick with the grand, epic health plan we set for ourselves.
In my private coaching with clients I see it all the time.
We plan to meditate every day, go to yoga a few times a week, cook breakfast ahead of time, and prepare our meals before we get started.
But mostly there’s one big thing that derails us and prevents us from turning those habits into a reality: people.
We all know that having social support is one of the five characteristics of people that successfully maintain their weight loss and amazing health.
But how do you get the right people on your side that support and champion you?
Well it just so happens that Lady Gaga is an expert at this.
What Makes Lady Gaga Famous
Lady Gaga is one strange woman.
There’s no doubt about that.
Just check out some of these pictures:
In this picture, she wore a dress made of raw meat (flank steak, to be exact) to the 2010 MTV music awards (wikipedia).
(She must’ve smelled funny for a week after).
Or what about this lightning hat?
I don’t know what event she wore this to, but I have a feeling she could easily have poked someone’s eye out with that. That hat can’t be functional…
Or what about in her music video for the song Alejandro, where her male dancers start off normal… but then actually are women. They dance like women, they act like women, and they carry themselves sexually like women.
At first… you might just think “man, this woman is just a weirdo.”
But what you might not realize is that, yes, she is weird, but she’s also a genius. She gets something.
Lady Gaga is an expert businesswoman, and she understands that getting attention in the right way is the best way for people to know who SHE is, to notice HER brand, and build HER tribe.
In other words, it’s a big calling card for other “little monsters” (as she says) like her to find her. She’s building her community of people that get her.
She’s weird… on purpose.
Here’s the thing, she acts weird on purpose. I highly doubt she’s as weird as she says she is.
In fact, where I live in Connecticut, I met a guy that went to high school with her and said she was actually quite popular – and was an attractive, talented young girl in all of the acting clubs.
The reason (my theory) why she’s weird, is that she uses it to market herself.
If you’re an amazing singer, which one of these two ways makes it more likely for people to find you:
Way #1: Be an amazing singer and sing on youtube for five years and hope to be found
Way #2: Be an amazing singer, and be so irresistibly weird that people TELL their friends about how weird you are.
Clearly, option #2!
She’s not afraid to make a statement with her bold life because that’s what she believes in.
The irony is that we’re often so afraid when we begin to embark on any new mission in our life, whether it’s just getting healthier, quitting our job, or taking that Euro trip like we wanted.
We’re afraid of criticism.
The sad thing is that once we become successful – at anything – the critics begin to get loud and haters come out. Sol, one of the case studies here that went from 300 pounds to almost a six pack, talked about how at first, everyone cheered him on.
But once he started looking REALLY good, everyone started hating on him. Not only did it confuse him, but it left him hurt.
What he was really looking at was the fact that people get uncomfortable around greatness – because it reminds them of all the dreams they’ve given up on.
When people see someone else being successful, it inspires jealousy and envy because it often reminds us that we quit halfway through a really important goal that could’ve changed our life.
Now the irony here is that we avoid things that draw in criticism… and thus we conform.
But like with Lady Gaga and many others, their ridiculous confidence, even in the midst of being weird, is what ATTRACTS people. Because people love confidence. People love authenticity. People love when we’re 100% honest and straightforward – even if it’s not conventional.
So What Can She Teach Us About Being Healthy? Three Things…
First, If we want a better life, or better health, we have to do what other people are not doing, and avoid taking advice from average people. What’s worse? People will hate you for being exceptional.
This sounds insanely basic… but hear me out.
By definition, if what we do is average, then we get the average person’s life.
So if we’re eating what the average American eats, we’re probably a bit overweight.
And if we’re thinking what the average person thinks, we’re probably busy, stressed, and a bit unhappy.
And if we treat our spouse like the way the average person does, we’re probably living in a mediocre relationship.
Going back to health for a second, if we WANT amazing health that the average person does not have (e.g. we want great health), we need to do what the average person doesn’t do.
Note: this doesn’t mean we have to do something with massive effort or discipline. It just means we need to do SOMETHING different.
If the average person’s routine is commute => work => commute => American Idol => sleep. Obviously that routine isn’t doing much to shed the recently added 30 pounds.
So by definition, if we want better health, that routine probably isn’t going to help.
Again, this sounds almost absurd, but it’s a profound truth we sometimes forget. If we want a better life, better health, more happiness, then we need to do something different. BE the exception.
The easiest way to do this? Don’t take advice from average people.
Think about it, when you ask someone in a bad relationship for relationship advice, you’re going to get… their bad relationship advice.
And when you ask an unhappy person about how to be happy, you’re going to get… an unhappy person’s advice.
And when you ask an unhealthy person about what they’re doing for their health… you’re going to get an unhealthy person’s advice.
So it’s kinda tough.
Sometimes we want life to be better, so we do the whole “seek council” from our friends thing. And sometimes this advice can unknowingly sabotage us because we don’t realize that they aren’t necessarily exceptional people in their own right.
And that’s okay.
But just like Lady Gaga only surrounds herself with her “little monsters” tribe, so that she only has people around her that GET her, we need to do the same if we want something better than the average life.
Second, If we want better health… we have to be deliberate about what we want.
Listen, Lady Gaga wants the music scene. She’s a great performer that knows how to get attention, and she is an incredible singer. In other words, she knows what she wants: so she can focus 100% of her mental energy on what she’s going after.
If she were just trying to be weird in Times Square, New York City, that’d be great and all… but she wouldn’t be a famous singer. Her weirdness was in the context of drawing attention to what she was selling: her own music.
In the same vein, we can say “Agh my life is horrible, It feels like I woke up in someone else’s life (and body)” but if we don’t know what we want to focus on and change… if we aren’t deliberate about WHAT we want, it’s almost impossible to take those daily action steps to get there.
So if we say, “Oh man, I just want to be healthier” – that’s great, but it also means nothing. How do you quantify healthier? Less knee pain? Losing 10 pounds? Having more energy? Sleeping throughout the night?
If we aren’t specific and deliberate about what we want, if we don’t set huge goals that inspire us, we’re doomed from the start.
And most importantly: If we want better health, we have to surround ourselves with people that get US and support US – not some idealized person that isn’t us at all.
What I think Lady Gaga gets most is this idea of her little monsters. She KNOWS her tribe. She GETS them, and they LOVE it! Thousands willingly tweet her with that hashtag. Incredible huh?
People, more than anything, are the ones that can carry us to the highest levels of health and success we dream about because of accountability. So why do so few of us spend the time to really build a tribe that “gets” us?
The Power And Accountability of Her Tribe (& How to Find Your Own)
So not only does she have her tribe (and we need to find our own), the power of the tribe also adds massive accountability.
In other words, if she messes up, she knows her tribe is going to hear about it.
And if she does something awesome, she also knows that her tribe is going to hear about that too.
And this regular tweeting, conversation, accountability, and shared focus is something that keeps her going – even when she doesn’t want to keep going. I guarantee that when she’s having an off day, or when something doesn’t work, or when a song or performance bombs, she looks at her fan mail for inspiration.
Can you see how well this relates to life? Sometimes when we’re so frustrated we want to quit on our health goals, it’s the power of the tribe that keeps us going.
That’s why I created my own, private inner circle called the Real Food Tribe. Where each month we focus on one key habit, one key health and weight loss tactic, and each week we have a private newsletter with one tiny how-to article to reinforce that one busy habit. Not to mention the tribe to help answer questions, where I post inspiration and check-ins three times a week.
The Real Food Tribe isn’t currently open, but if you’d like to join the wait list you can do so here.
What Are Your Thoughts?
What do you think about Lady Gaga and the power of her tribe?
Please share your thoughts below!
P.S. I will be opening limited enrollment for the Real Food Weight Loss Tribe later this month, if you’d like to be notified, make sure you’re on the wait list here.