Ask the Readers: What’s Your Burning Hope/Fear Behind Wanting to Lose Weight and Get Healthy?
I answer hundreds of emails that are virtually the same exact burning question.
“Alex, how can I lose 20-30 pounds, boost my energy, sleep better, improve my health, and fast?”
But I always find this a bit surprising, because people fail to ask themselves the right questions.
We often fail to ask the most powerful, important questions.
We ask ourselves, “okay, what’s my goal? what am I striving for? how can I lose 20 pounds?”
When in reality, the more important question is this:
Why do I want this?
In fact, behind every success story, there’s often a deeply powerful, emotional “why” to the story.
Today, I want to ask you to share your own “why.”
“WHY” Do You Want To Lose Weight and Get Healthier? Leave Your Answers Below
Coming this next week I’m going to be introducing that roadmap for losing your first – or next – 20 pounds. We’re going to go pound by pound exactly what to do, what habits to cultivate, when, and how.
But for now – I have one request. Tell me your why.
Why do you want it?
Share your fears – is it to avoid something that scares you?
Share your hopes – is it to enable some kind of dream, or allow you to do something you love?
Leave your responses below.
– Alex
I desperately need to lose as much weight as possible because I have degenerative joint disease of both knees at this point. I need to get weight off of my knees to alleviate the pain. At a height of 5’3″ I should really not way much more than 135 to 40 pounds at the most.
Thank you for sharing Deborah!
One day I realised that if I was going to make it to 84 in healthy fashion, I was going to have to take better care if my body. That has since been my prime motivator, first to pick up fitness, later to start working on my eating patterns. Things are moving slowly in the right direction, and I am feeling and looking younger every year.
Awesome to hear about your progress Eva!
I want to lose weight to enhance my personal body image. I have been embarrassed to remove my shirt for too long!
Thanks for sharing Ron!
First to be, look and feel healthy. I want to be actively involved in my life with my kids and husband. Second, I want too feel super sexy naked! I’m turning 35 Friday and I’ve never felt truly sexy with/in my own skin.
Hi MrsAhmad,
Thank you for sharing – I think many people also have this deep down emotional feeling of wanting to look great with (and without!) clothing, but few people are brave enough to share it :-).
I want to like myself. I realized that I don’t, and I want to change that. Plus I realized I will 35 in 6 months, and I don’t want to enter the middle part of my life burdened with health problems.
Powerful Josh!
I’d like to lose weight so I can move around a lot easier. Also feel better in the morning. But lose weight eating the right things not, not eating, that’s something I rarely do, not eat. So I’m going to follow your suggestions in this course as it’s targeting neck and back pain and see how I do. I think I eat OK, perhaps it’s because I’m a bread person. I don’t sit at a desk all day but I’d like to see if your motivation can help me, been as though it’s free. Much thanks.
Hi Marilyn –
Thank you for sharing. Mobility is huge – especially as we get older. It can be emotionally frustrated to feel limited or constrained in some way – I dealt with the same with chronic pain in my early 20s.
I want to lose weight because I want to feel strong and healthy. I was in very good shape my whole life, and now at 49 (almost 50), I’m 10 lbs over weight and with chronic lower back pain. I stopped exercising almost three years ago and that probably made it worse. I have bad eating habits (I eat very little fruit). I want to lose weight to get back to playing my two favorite sports, tennis and volleyball. Thank you Alex!
Adriana –
Totally understand wanting to get back to your favorite sports! My dad shares this sentiment – a major reason why he wanted to lose weight was for this exact reason.
I have had three babies in three 1/2 years. I have lost myself completely. I want to loose the weight to get my body back. But more important, I want to teach my kids about healthy eating and excersize.
Thanks for sharing Kathy 🙂
I need to lose the weight to give me the energy to have clear and consistent thinking to pursue my goals.
Love this, thanks for sharing Andrew! I’m with you there.
I’m not even sure if I am concerned with losing more weight, although it wouldn’t hurt me in the least; I just want to feel better again.
My middle son passed away in 2011. Grief did a number I me. I have a friend who tells me that if grief can’t cripple you emotionally, then it will screw you physically; I’m pretty sure she is right.
I have felt like crap for as long as I can remember, but after my son died in a car accident, I felt like a pile of non-working parts—I was bloated, constipated, achy, head-achy, tired, and miserable. I went almost 3 weeks without a bowel movement this past January. It got so bad I literally could not eat anything because nothing was coming out the other end. I went to the doctor, fearing I had a bowel obstruction. She prescribed more fiber. I obliged. I ate stool softeners in order have any sort of bowel movement at all. None of my other symptoms improved with the added fiber. Then I got my period for about 6 weeks straight, heavy and constant. My doctor told me these were all just coincidental events, plus menopause.
Google helped me find you. I followed a few of your suggestions concerning IBS and fiber. I was amazed that, for the first time in my life, I didn’t have gas and constipation. The bleeding ceased and normalized. I began having regular bowel movements for the first time in memory. I lost about 20 lbs last time I checked…although I’m not certain where I am now, because I tossed out my scale. I could care less how big my butt is, as long as I can poop!
The past several weeks have been stressful. My oldest son, an OIF, OEF Marine Corps combat veteran, began having severe PTSD issues. This put me on the road back and forth between home and and the VA hospital 2 1/2 hours away. I found myself eating in the car and making horrible food choices because I didn’t have time to shop or cook for myself. Although I haven’t put on weight, I’m starting to feel sick as a dog again. I’m bloated, constipated, tired, achy, miserable and downright exhausted.
I am scared that I will end up back where I was last January if I do not get my head on straight, and, although I know very well how I should be eating, I have lost my focus and cannot seem to get back there. I need help.
Life is short, real short, the reality of which hits hard when you lose a loved one who’s been your champion for 31 years. I want to stay healthy, fit into my clothes with ease, be active, be able to maintain my home and gardens, and stay happy with myself until the day I die. That’s why I want to finally lose 20 lbs and keep it off.
Steph –
Thank you for sharing.
Hi Tawnia,
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry to hear about all the things you’ve gone through. Keep your eyes peeled for the training :-).
Ongoing battles with gas, bloating, constipation and lower back pain have troubled me for some time.
I’ve changed my habits, switching from box food to a whole lot of vegtables and soups and fruits, but still constipated. I eat carrots and celery instead of going to the “carb machine” in our breakroom at work.
What I’d like is to look good, stand up straight, get rid of the back pain and constipation. And eventually get back down to a size 34 or even 36 from a huge 40 that I am now.
Big problem for me is that I’m not as active at work as I used to be. I’m an engineer and used to move heavy equipment around, but the job has moved 90% to sitting at a console of a computer or server.
SO, you want to know what I want:
#1Loose the back pain, gain mobility
#1Loose the dang spare tire, increase energy to gain even more mobility
# Loose the constipation, have a regular BM at least every two days instead of once a week, or once every two weeks.
Problem is, they are all inter related, they are all priorities! Can’t eat too much beef or grilled chicken as these make my gout go through the roof. Need to be slim on the purines now, I know that doesn’t help as it reduces food choices.
Thanks Alex!
Hey Tom –
Thanks so much for sharing. Love the honesty! I share(d) several of the chief complaints you have, so I feel you there.
Hi Alex,
I want to be able to run, and skip, and teach a PE lesson without looking like a hypocrite, I want to dance in the middle of the floor, and fit into rollercoaster seats comfortably, and not have flesh that folds over like half-empty bag, and I want to be able to breathe when tying my shoe laces, I want my hormone levels to normalise, and my blood pressure to go down, and for yoga to be comofortable. I want to look as slim and fit as I feel, so I don’t get a shock each time I look in the mirror! And I want to feel light and in control.
Bring it on!
Hi MrsM –
“I want to feel light and in control” – really really like this. I know what you mean – almost that feeling of being alive again, unrestricted, ready to roll! Keep your eyes peeled :-).
I feel like shit my back hurts my hearst hurts I cant even walk with out hurting , I was golfing with a older guy I asked him how he felt he told me I feel like a brand new baby I have no hair no teeth and I just peed my pants please help me
The why for me is brain health. My dad has advanced Alzheimer’s disease and my mom has cognitive decline. My husband and I are their caretakers and have moved them into our home. Being faced with the harsh reality of mental decline is jaw dropping and continues to take its toll on all of our lives. I have two teenagers and I want to be a competent, capable and independent grandma one day. I am doing everything I can to prevent this disease. I have always been an active and health oriented person. I am even more vigilant now that I realize the stakes have been raised from feeling strong and healthy to aging with awareness of my past. My father will be in the kitchen and say to me, “what’s your name?” Not sure I will ever wrap my head around that. It’s like losing your loved one while they are still alive. I do not want my children to go through that. I am hoping that nutrient dense foods, Bikram yoga and stress reducing activities will spare me from the disease. That’s my why.
Sorry to hear this Jasmine – my great aunt as well as some older family friends also have dementia and Alzheimer’s, and I’ve seen it first hand. Easily one of the saddest life experiences I’ve ever had. I can totally understand your desire and fire to prevent and avoid this.
I want to lose weight so that I can have a better quality of life. At my current weight I can’t walk without my thighs rubbing together and chafing
Thanks for sharing Jo! Quality of life is huge –
I am an actor in a community theater group and I’m tired of having the worst headshot in the program when I’m in a show. Chubby face and neck. I lose 8 pounds, put them back on again, lose 11 pounds, put on 15, lose 8 and put them back on…. repeat. I am not very active and want to be fit, healthy and have more energy to do the things I want to do and add more living to my life.
Hey Tom –
Love this “why” ! Very specific about the outcome it will produce in your life. Keep your eyes peeled today for part 1!
I want to lose 5kg of weight and tone up as it will help me feel happy with my body and boost my self confidence, and will allow me to be more healthy.
Hey Nasreen,
Thanks for sharing – what would you say is stopping you from making this a reality?
I want to lose weight so that I recognize myself again. Somehow along the way, I’ve lost sight of myself. It was slow, gradual, and over a few years. I want to lose weight so that I have the energy to play with my children more, and so that I enjoy looking at myself in pictures.
Thanks for sharing Laura ! I thought it was very powerful when you said “I’ve lost sight of myself.”
So let me ask you this: What does your new vision look like? Elaborate a bit more for me.
I have a special needs son that I will have to care for the rest of his life. I want to be around for him as long as possible
I have had chronic pain, chronic constipation, depression, anxiety and excess weight for the past 20 years. I want a better quality of life. I want more energy for myself and my daughter. I want to be able to play with my future grandkids and live to be 100. I want to be free of chronic pain, depression and stress. I want to be healthy and vibrant. I hope I’m not asking for to much. ☺
Hahah, not that much Tara 🙂 What would you say is the toughest part about getting there?
I don’t want to finish my 20s not feeling as healthy, bright, and attractive as I know I am on the inside. And I want that kind of healthy lifestyle and flow to be 2nd nature to me for the rest of my life!
Loosing weight will help in rehabilitation of my left knee that was replaced the end of May. I am going through rehabilitation and making progress. However, since March, I have not been able to do much exercising, HIIT, squats, Kettle bell or lift much weights. Now my lower back has been bothering me for almost three weeks. I have pain medications and pills to relax the muscles. I previously lost about 10 pounds but gained them back.
Input= Impact. I want to cultivate clean and positive habits for myself, my well-being and for body peace through weight loss. Aspiring for global peace starts with body peace and striving to be the best me from the inside out. Be my best in order to give the world my best.
My reason WHY? I get shocked every time I see my reflection in a store front window or pass by a mirror. SHOCKED! and then depressed. I hate the way I look. In my mind I’m tall and skinny but when I look in the mirror I see a fat old frumpy dumpy matronly old lady. My husband is thin and fit and I don’t ‘fit’ in anymore. I used to. I want to look thin and fit again. I’m 60 yrs old.
Also, I ordered your book Master The Day on Amazon.
I live in Israel and am having your book shipped to my friend Fruma and she is bringing it to me. Can I get the free bonus video course??? here is a copy of my receipt:
Details
Order #114-5703079-3422626
Arriving:
Saturday, June 17
Ship to:
Fruma Cohen Linda
891 WESTMINSTER RD…
Total Before Tax:
Estimated Tax:
Order Total:
$13.04
$1.12
$14.16
We hope to see you again soon.
Amazon.com
Hi Linda, absolutely! Can you please email me so I can send you it there?
Yes my brother I want to lose weight but Iam totally spent , you see my my dad died and my wife wants to separate with me , not been a good year
I am a dancer and it is critical that I look slim and agile. and good health is a mirror of a happy mind. That’s why I want to lose weight.
Im more like you, I would like to build more muscle and so though Im skinny and people are probably jealous of me Im not actually happy and theres a few reasons Id like to change my weight.
I want to feel good about myself and feel secure in handling myself (and probably like I could be more protective of those I care about). Id like to feel more energetic, healthier and more masculine. Ive changed the way I look and present myself a fair bit in the past few years cutting my hair shorter wearing different clothes caring more about my appearance and it seems the next step in feeling good about my body.
Hi, 6 years ago when I was 50, I was a happy go lucky, full of life and confident slim woman. Now after health issues and several operations, I’m now 4 and a half stone heavier and have lost my confidence. I’ve got into some bad eating habits and can’t seem to break the emotional eating cycle x