One of the toughest parts about actually conquering the day to day challenges of getting healthier is actually avoiding the minefield of social interaction.
We can be sitting at the office doing our work, when Cindy rolls by with her home made cookie platter, or when we have to go out to a business lunch that involves pasta and wine.
We can come home to a spouse or partner that’s supportive, unsupportive, or who just doesn’t care.
Or Friday night can roll around and we’re dealing with friends that know we’re trying to make smarter choices… yet they invite us out to pizza and beer (really? Thanks guys…).
Some of these may not appear to affect you. The reason I mention them is that the mindset of these people can influence your own, and virtually all of these are mindsets that are allergic to taking action.
At the end of the day, it’s up to us to master the day-to-day, but while you’re working on that, here are nine types of people to watch out for, that we need to gradually purge from our lives if we’re going to succeed:
1. Envious Emily
One of the most surprising, and sad, things is that once you become the kind of person who is in the process of making real progress with your health (or life / passion) goals, people, rather than becoming supportive, often become combative.
Deep down, what you’re doing triggers their own feelings of inadequacy, “Damn, she’s going for her dreams… why aren’t I? What am I doing with my life?”
This was pretty startling to Sol – who went from lifelong overweight (about 300 pounds) to now looking like a fitness model.
He said that as soon as he lost his first 30-40 pounds, people started sabotaging him by saying things like:
“Sol buddy, you’re looking pretty sickly… you should eat more, you don’t look right.”
He was puzzled.
He was 300 pounds – and was now 260 – he felt better than ever before, and obviously looked much better. Starving? Sickly? Were they insane?
Nope. Unfortunately they were simply envious. When we see a person going after “the dream” is triggers something within us that say, “Why aren’t I?”
2. Doubter Danny
Every find yourself inspired after watching a great movie or reading an inspiring book?
Have you ever decided then and there to embark on some new kind of mission in your life to do something BIG, and dream huge once again?
And have you ever witnessed what happens to some people as you mention these goals?
Big dreams make average people uncomfortable.
“I’m going to lose 30 pounds this year, tone up, trim down, and look incredible,” we may say to one of our friends, who responds with a, “Oh yeah? I’ll believe it when I see it.”
Doubter Dannys can be a bit discouraging because they’re often our close friends. Our friends are supposed to be our support… the people that have our back when times aren’t going well.
But Doubter Dannys tend to flat out tell you “oh yeah? I’ll believe it when I see it” – and leave you sitting there with a wrinkled nose and a bad taste in your mouth.
3. Insidiously Unsupportive Ian
The third type of person that can sabotage your health efforts is Insidiously Unsupportive Ian, and often manifests as a spouse, partner or girlfriend/boyfriend.
Picture this: you get home, you tell your partner that you’re really inspired and motivated, and TODAY is the day! Today’s the day it’s all going to change for the better.
You share a really inspiring story you heard, you talk about how your life will change, and all the big things you are going to start doing again.
And you expect to hear a “that sounds awesome!” from your partner, who also is usually your #1 form of support… but all you hear is a few bubbles, “Oh yeah? sounds good.” Lukewarm. Room temperature. Flat.
And it can leave you a bit puzzled.
I don’t get it. It’s a win-win, I’m going to look and feel better, my spouse or partner is going to look at someone who is fitter and physically more attractive, so what gives?
This partner often doesn’t realize it, but they have a habit of tuning out and not necessarily being there. And unfortunately, a neutral response is often almost as damaging as a flat out negative response.
4. Complaining Cindy
We all have complaining Cindys in our lives.
It’s raining? Cindy is complaining.
She’s late for work? Cindy is going off about the idiots on the highway, the weather patterns, and her recent brand new health problems cropping up.
Something is up with her spouse? “He’s such an idiot, I don’t get why he does this every single time we try to go out. Why can’t he just act like a normal person.”
Her life isn’t where it is? “God I HATE my job, I hate this commute, I hate all these stupid people!”
She’s the person that always magically has something to complain about, even if it’s a sunny day she’ll say it’s “so hot out” rather than “wow it’s beautiful out!”
Complaining Cindys can have their complaining nature rub off on you. “I just got home and I REALLY don’t want to do this. I want to do anything but this.”
And clearly, Cindy is allergic to taking action, because complaining is infinitely easier.
5. Blamer Billy
Billy has had his own fair share of failures (like we all have), except he always has an alibi. There’s always something or someone (except himself) at blame.
He gets fired from his job? It’s always because his boss is a jerk and doesn’t value him as an employee (and it’s apparently never about his lack of delivery at his job).
He starts gaining weight? It’s always about genetics, something his parents did, or something in the food he eats. You don’t ever hear from Blamer Billy about the choices he makes on a daily basis leading him down that road.
His friends want to stop seeing him? “They all have issues” he says, ignoring the fact that his constant complaining and blaming has pushed everybody away.
Blamer Billy does everything except the one thing he needs to be happy and successful: take 100% personal responsibility for his life.
6. Gossipy Gale
Gossipy Gale always talks to her friends about what this or that person is doing, because it’s a combination of envy and jealousy.
“Did you hear that Marsha is on this ridiculous new cleanse where all she does is eat grapefruits? OMG that’s ridiculous, is it even healthy?”
“Did you see John’s results after trying <latest diet fad> ? He lost about 50 pounds so far but I doubt he’s going to be able to sustain that.”
Deep down Gossipy Gale feels: Inadequate, wishing she could make progress like this in her own personal life.
Just like Blamer Billy, it’s so much easier for Gale to gossip and point fingers than it is for her to shut up and take action in her own life.
7. Silver Bullet Sarah
Sarah never wants to do the work, even though she knows what is going to get her the results. Rather than taking the 20-30 minutes a day to push her life forward, she waits until the next silver bullet fad, diet, book, or guru comes out – and she’s full steam ahead.
Silver Bullet Sarahs are likely to:
– Quickly, eagerly adopt the next celebrity diet fad
– Shun any and all “take it slow and change your habits” type advice
– Be extremely inconsistent in their behavior, favoring short term crash diets and fads over sustainable practices
– Complain constantly over not seeing 20 pounds lost in one week
Obviously, Silver Bullet Sarahs can be typical yoyo dieters, because by definition they adopt unsustainable strategies that only produce quick, short results and leave you back at square one several months later.
8. Perfect Timing Timothy
Timothy is the type that’s always waiting for the stars to align.
“I’m going to wait until the new year because I’ve got lots of work projects right now.”
“My horoscope said this quarter is not really a good time for me to be trying new things. Maybe in another six months or so.” (<== I’ve actually heard this before).
“I’m going to get started soon, I just need to take care of these projects. One of these days I’m going to really flip my life upside down and make it happen.”
Timothy uses that classic line: “one of these days.” Naturally, one of those days never shows up for him, and years and years pass without him making any progress in his life.
9. Peer Pressure Pamela
Pamela is always trying to guilt trip you into doing things you don’t want to do.
You’re at a social dinner, and it’s time for the dessert cake. You got this. You’re good, you had 1/2 a slice and you don’t need another one.
You’ve got this covered.
But there comes Peer Pressure Pamela, “Oh, come on Alex just LIVE a little, don’t be such a party pooper” – and fighting the urge not to leap across the dinner table and slam her face into the dessert… you cave.
Pamelas typically try to guilt trip you into eating more because when you mess up, it makes her feel better about herself and her own failure to successfully diet.
Which One Of These Have You Encountered “In the Wild?” Please Share Below
Which one of these is in your own life?
Please take a second and share below –